The Man in the Mirror

Sadly, I am unhappy with the image I created for myself. I've been called a manwhore, skank, good juggler, and a flirt... basically all the things people would go brag about with their boys. Their reason being is because I interact with alot of girls (on facebook especially). Maybe I do talk to alot of girls but its nothing more than that and that's a reason why they interact back. It's in my efforts to be a good friend to everyone and be there for them when needed. Most of the times, it's women who needs help the most. Well maybe not, but I rather help women than men lol. You can say Im a man with a sense of humor and because of that, I receive alot of smiles from females which is quite heartwarming ;). But it gets difficult when it comes to them trusting me.

I woke up for work today, sitting on the edge of my bed staring at the mirror looking at my reflection. I'm tired of hiding a facial expression by putting on a fake smile throughout the day. Due to lack of trust, I've lost a really good friend. So I will drop my ego and let my heart write today. And today, it will admit that it's broken. Every time our friends asked about our situation, I would tell them "Everything's okay." But I swear... if my heart had a neck, it would try to strangle itself with it's arteries for every time I lied.

She was one of the main reasons why i was happy in general. As hard as I try forgetting about it, the presence of joy that was contagious, the laughter, and the hours spent late on the phone... I catch myself randomly thinking about those moments. I feel as if i lost a reason to smile.

Good thing there are plenty of other reasons to still smile =). I didn't write this note to win anything back. I just think bottling up things is unhealthy and the best way to deal with this is just by letting the heart cry... until it run out of tears to cry. And After, I will no longer cling onto that hope in a healthy relationship again. Things didn't end all that bad and Im glad that we are still friends. I'm pretty sure if I ever needed anything, she'd still be there for me. (I think lol)

I look back at the time and effort and the only thing left to say is "Oh Well!"



P.S.

I'm a man of many secrets. If you think that piece of life was a good read, you should see what else I'm capable of writing ;)